Why do you need a peer group more than you think?
or What is the cost of staying where you are?
I used to think I was the only one who didn’t have it all figured it out. Everyone else seemed to be crushing it, and I was just trying not to drop the ball…Sounds familiar? Like, you’re the only one winging it, hoping no one notices? If you have never felt like this, congrats – or you are in denial? But if you have, keep reading. The truth is: You are not alone! The sooner you realize it, the faster you will grow.
Put another way - What is the cost of staying where you are?
Why we feel Alone
The isolation trap is easy to fall into. Imposter syndrome creeps in, whispering that you’re just faking it and soon everyone will find out. You think, “If I were really good at this, I wouldn’t have so many questions, right?” Wrong. It’s the price of ambition. Anyone trying to be better than they were yesterday feels inadequate at least once a day.
What’s even crazier? Founders and leaders often see the value of an MBA for the knowledge they'll gain, but they overlook the real goldmine: the relationships they’ll build. And when it comes to peer groups, they completely miss the boat, thinking it’s just another networking event. In reality, peer groups are where the magic happens.
The real value of peer groups
Fifteen years ago, I joined TEC Canada/Vistage, a peer group for CEOs. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions of my career. Not just because of what I learned, but because of who I met. Those people became my trusted advisors—my unofficial board of directors.
The eureka moment? Realizing that my company would only grow as fast as I was growing. I’d heard it before, but it finally clicked when I was stuck on a problem I couldn’t solve alone.
Reading books is good, peers who’s been in the trenches? is priceless
What to Expect in a Peer Group
Here’s what you’ll find when you join a peer group:
People like you, but wiser each in their own way. No one’s there to one-up you. They’re there to help you see your blind spots.
Hands-on experience, not just theory. It’s real-world case studies happening in real-time. Business problems solved by people who have been there and done that.
A safe space. Rule #1 is confidentiality. What’s said in the room stays in the room. This is where people get real about what’s really going on, personally and professionally.
No personal agendas. Just people supporting each other through the highs and the lows.
My peer group became the place where I could say the things I couldn’t say anywhere else. The chair of my group likes to say, “I invite CEOs in, but people show up.” He’s right.
And every time I show up, I’m reminded: I am not alone.
The Rule of Engagement
Peer groups aren’t a spectator sport. You get out what you put in. If you’re just there to collect advice, you’re missing the point. The real value comes when you open up and share your challenges. Here’s how to get the most out of it:
Adopt the mindset: You are not alone. This isn’t just about business advice; it’s about realizing that other people are wrestling with the same doubts, fears, and roadblocks.
Give a little, Get a lot. If you’ve faced a similar problem, speak up. If not, listen. Because someday, you’ll need that lesson.
Trust the room. It’s scary to be vulnerable. But the moment you do, you’ll get the support you need.
What’s the Payoff?
Nothing worthwhile is free, and neither are peer groups. But my ROI is off the charts:
Faster growth for you and your business. Peer groups accelerate your learning curve. You don’t just avoid mistakes; you grow from others’ experiences.
A sounding board for your ideas you don’t know how to get started. These are the people who will push you, challenge you, and help you turn half-baked ideas into game-changing moves.
Accountability when you say in front of 10-15 people ‘I will do this about this client this month’ – believe me the meeting next month – you have done it.
Peace of mind. The ability to share things you can’t discuss anywhere else is priceless.
But let’s get real—it costs money and time. And here’s the kicker: That’s exactly why it works. The investment forces you to show up, to participate, to get uncomfortable. If it were free, it would be easy to dismiss, to skip meetings, to take it for granted.
When you pay, you pay attention.
Here are a few things I have heard
“I don’t have the time.” The truth is, you don’t have time not to do this. You’re already spending time spinning your wheels on the same problems. Imagine how much faster you’d move with the right advice at the right time.
“I can’t justify the cost.” How much are your mistakes costing you? How much potential revenue are you leaving on the table because you’re figuring things out the hard way? Investing in yourself isn’t an expense; it’s a strategy to reduce costly errors and seize opportunities faster.
“I don’t think I’m ready.” The very fact that you’re hesitating is proof that you’re ready. Growth doesn’t happen when you’re comfortable. It happens when you step into the unknown and let others hold up a mirror to your blind spots.
The real payoff isn’t just better decisions or faster growth. It’s the shift in mindset. It’s realizing that you are not alone. It’s having the courage to admit what you don’t know, to ask for help, and to push through discomfort to become a better leader.
If you’re still on the fence, ask yourself:
What is the cost of staying where I am?
Ready to Stop Feeling Alone?
If you’re tired of feeling like you’re the only one who doesn’t have it all figured out, it’s time to join a peer group. Start by researching ones in your industry or network. Don’t wait to be ‘ready.’ Just start. You’ll learn that to lead others, you first must lead yourself.
Anyone in your business network you admire, and they are part of a peer group, chat with them, see what they are getting out of it. Take the first step, be curious.
A Personal Thank You
To my chair, Carlos Fox, and my TEC Group Tec262: Thank you for reminding me time and again to get my eyes back on the ball and myself out of my own weeds. You’ve shown me that I am not alone.
“Your peer group won’t stop you from making mistakes—they’ll make sure you realize it faster.”
TAG: #LeadingSelf, #LeadingOthers, #LeadingThroughOthers, #LeadingInMarket
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